With great power. Chapter 1

Archive of the "Macro Story" forum.

With great power. Chapter 1

Postby Makaze » Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:09 pm

My first effort as far as a serious story and not just my giving into well vices, have a good read now k'?

The mother and child huddled together for warmth. The strong scent of plaster and smoke filled the air in the rubble of what was once a downtown apartment high-rise. The mother looked down at her child who lay semi-unconscious in her lap, a gentle finger wiping away soot and a smattering of blood from a cut as her eyes watered a little.

She instinctively clutched her child close, body hovering over her son as she felt the building shift more, the one lone light illuminating the room going out with not so much as a sputter a dull thump noise echoed throughout the collapsed structure.

She closed her eyes, waiting for the end, silently hoping that her child would be spared regardless of her own fate.

The crumbling room shook again, a cloying mix of smoke, gas fumes and plaster filled the room, the ceiling above them bowing to the packed on weight of the crushed floors above them, she braced her self, huddling over her child as the ruinous crash came down, her eyes meeting those of her child's and through the ruinous crash, he could barely make out

"I love you"

There was a crash, the horrid sound of crunching, a sound, a scream, and then a heavy thud. Then blackness.


She wiped her brow, moving a lock of raven black hair from her field of vision, the only sound in her feline ears was her own haggard breathing, her vision swept the area, all around her and her downed opponent was wreckage, the few undamaged street lights flickered on and off with the waning electricity, she frowned a little as she walked over to her fallen adversary. Her barefoot falls rumbling slightly, the tremors caused dislodging a few piles of ruined bricks, or jostling the crushed car.

Seeing that her foe was alive, but unconscious she restrained her arms and legs with a zip cord, then tapped a small clip on her ear, sighing.

"This is Nadia.....the situation is under control here. It's safe to send in rescue teams and clean up crews."

There was a brief moment of silence, then a faint roger.

The giantess, now identified as Nadia waited....her face showing sorrow as she started sifting through rubble her long tail wrapping around her body to prevent any needless collateral damage, in the distance flashing lights and the faint whine of sirens, and whir of helicopter blades greeted her ears as she carefully moved rubble and debris out the way.

She let out a breath she'd been holding, since the fight ended, so far it seemed there'd been no casualties.

Her large, furry hands sifted through the rubble that was once an apartment building, her brow furrowed as she carefully moved rock and rebar with the care of a model ship builder, praying that someone was alive, or that the occupants had evacuated when the fighting began.

Her heart soared as she found survivors, a mother, shuddering and huddled over something, not moving as Nadia called out to the gently

"Ma"™am, its okay"¦every thing is alright now." Nadia said as calmly and timidly as she could, knowing there"™d be fear of someone her size.

She called out again, then stopped before she finished her sentence, her enhanced vision noting the jagged piece of rebar jutting out of the woman"™s back, quickly she took a deep breath focusing, her size dwindling from an intimidating One hundred and ten feet, to a more modest Seven feet in height, running as she finished the body modification her hand reaching to a small med kit strapped to her thigh as she reached them, her slitted red eyes locking with the haggard and wounded woman"™s own brown human ones.

She knelt down roughly, a rock splitting under her knee as she panicked, hands fighting to open the kit.

"Its okay miss, j"¦just hold on"¦go...god come on hold on, the medics are on the way!"

The woman smiled, a trickle of blood rolling down her paling cheeks, a faint thank you coming from her parched throat, a faint shake of her head as he her hand reached out, Nadia"™s own reaching out to clasp it, the lioness feeling the warmth slowly leaving it, then falling limp slipping away from her rescuer.

The body slumped, and fell, rolling off what it was huddled over, beneath her a small boy, unmoving and cold, many cuts and bruises upon his shivering form.

The medics arrived to the sound of sobbing, Nadia desperately giving mouth to mouth.


She sat at the improvised hospital, eyeing all the tents, and all the still incoming wounded, a tired look on her face, fur matted to her cheeks from the tears, the dirt, the ash, the blood. Her ears picking up the moans of pain, the beep of life support machines, the medical lingo of doctors and nurses.

She grimaced with a pained huff and started to walk away, but not too far in case of another attack, her walk taking her to a tree which she punched in self anger.

"DAMNIT!" her shout echoed out across, followed by a sharp, meaty thud of her clenched fist against the bark of the tree, splintering it some. She kept muttering the word over and over again, until a hand grasped her fist, stopping her.

Nadia wheeled around, eyes wild with grief and anger, then calmed when her eyes looked down into the eyes of a Samoan Man, his brown eyes looking into hers.

"That"™s enough Nadia, you did your best"¦" he said sullenly, his blue smock stained with sweat and blood.

Her eyes wavered as she stood there quietly, then broke, leaning onto his shoulder sobbing letting it all out.

"K"¦Kolani I tried so hard"¦.an..and I saw the look on her face. I failed her, a.."

Kolani shook his head, patting her "It is okay hun, you did what you could, and end the end your stubbornness and devotion still saved a life. The look you described, she knew what she did and what it would do and I feel any mother would do the same given the situation."

"I don"™t even know why I try some days, seems someone always gets hurt." She murmured, still clinging to him, a shuddering sob escaping her as Kolani dragged her back to the medical camp.

"H..hey!" she said, but didn"™t let go as he lead her through the camp.

"Look at these people Nadia, if you"™d given up, this wouldn"™t be a hospital, it"™d be a morgue," he stops at the ICU tent, several nurses and doctors tending to the seriously wounded, he points to a somewhat familiar face, the body wrapped in bandages.

"And if it hadn"™t been fro you being the stubborn woman I know, that young child wouldn"™t be here either, and the mother"™s sacrifice would be in vain" the look on his face was harsh and at the same time caring, concerned.

Nadia snatched her hand back, sighing. "I don"™t know Kolani"¦maybe"¦"

"You should go back home, rest"¦I know this was your second assignment. But think on the good you"™ve done here, more than the bad"¦it"™ll only do good for you in the long run." He smiled a bit as he walked off, a casual wave to her and a warm smile.

Nadia paused, thinking on the words for a moment, before turning and starting to walk off.

"Rest"¦.will it really make this any easier?"

End Chapter One.
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Postby Nottyeagle » Mon Jan 14, 2008 8:37 am

Wow. The detail you portray is absolutely amazing. I'm definitely hooked.
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Postby FatTony » Mon Jan 14, 2008 5:59 pm

Good done.
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Postby Freshmeat » Tue Jan 15, 2008 5:50 pm

This is really great and holds very much promise Makaze, keep it up.

I love the detail and the emotions that come across from it
Current works:
The Thousand Year War--- 80% written, 50% typed
Larger and Larger---50% written
Deitism---coming soon
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Postby timid-wolf » Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:41 am

Great work! ^^
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Postby johnwolf » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:36 am

please put up more i am SO hooked on that. if i was a fish you can just reel me in lol. (drums go off) nice keep up the good work
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