Mutual Benefit

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Mutual Benefit

Postby gadabout » Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:48 am

Well, heres a wee ditty Ive been writing for a little while, it's on a bit of a hiatus at the moment but I'll let you guy see what Ive got so far :I

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Mutual Benefit

Caroline jiggled the key in the door a little bit, but the insufferable thing wouldn’t budge. That was to be expected, though, since the residence she had purchased not too long ago had been put up on a public auction due to the previous owner being declared dead in absentia. This of course meant that no one had been in here for many, many years… But that also meant the place was practically a steal and so she was able to buy it on her very limited and meager budget.

A worrying crack, and an uncomfortable amount of torque, later the door finally gave way and creaked open in a slow and sickly manner. Making a note to get a healthy dose of WD-40 the female skunk carefully put her grey furred foot down in the house as if worried the floor might give way to her modestly slim build. Her fears weren't exactly unreasonable as the dusty wooden boards beneath her groaned dangerously as she slowly put her weight on them. Despite its clear and obvious warning of its inability to comply she put her full faith in them as she placed her other foot inside.

Thankfully the floor didn't give way, and the grey furred skunk breathed a full sigh of relief. Caroline didn’t have black fur like most of her other brethren. Instead had grey fur, a white stripe down her fluffy tail and backside, and a white underbelly. She wore a cream coloured turtle neck and some baggy denim trousers with a pink polka dotted bandana on her head, keeping her long straight black hair out of her face and flowing neatly over her back.

As for the house itself, it was dusty and depressing as she had imagined, it was fully furnished thankfully so all she needed to do was dust off a little and everything would be peachy. A short walk around revealed that the house was outfitted with blackout curtains which was the main reason this place looked so gloomy. Since she hadn’t hooked up the utilities yet she ripped them open to allow some light inside.

“Yup… that’ll have to do for now…” Caroline mumbled to herself as she allowed her eyes to wander the place a little more as she continued walking around. She soon wandered into the kitchen where she almost squealed in joy. Sure it was a little dusty but it came fully stocked with a wonderful gas oven and several cupboards which, upon further investigation, were revealed to have every cooking appliance she could ever need.

Caroline didn’t move from her parents house for nothing, she was planning on becoming a world class chef after all, and there was a fancy restaurant nearby that was taking internships. It was all paid and she would be able to support herself while getting valuable work experience. The place was called The Wine Glasse and it was a world renowned location that was coveted by many. It was a honor to have been accepted to such an establishment even though it did have somewhat of a creepy history. It was directly related to the house she now resided in as a matter of fact: the founder of the establishment used to own this very house.

As previously mentioned however, the man disappeared without a trace a while ago, and the second in command soon took over in his place. Caroline was still pleased that she could at least reside where a legend once did. Perhaps she could mooch a little off of his awesome cooking aura and maybe improve herself with it… Strange theories aside his kitchen was still intact, and that was good enough for her, if not a good advantage in her favour.

Though, of course, she still had to get this place clean…

* * * *

Caroline collapsed on her now freshly beaten bed sheets and pulled off her bandana allowing her hair to spread freely on bed as she discarded her headwear to the side carelessly. She never thought she would see herself beating the crap out of anything, let alone some old and dusty amber coloured sheet that was misleadingly heavy, but she did. She cleaned up as much as she could of the place but the task proved to be far too much for one go, and in the end she simply resigned herself cleaning a path from the front door all the way to the master bedroom upstairs where she dumped her luggage on the floor and simply fell over.

“Oh man…” Caroline sighed heavily as she stretched out a little, splaying her aching toes, “Well I guess I’ll finish the rest later or something…” She began drifting off to sleep when the sound of fabric slipping through a small opening alerted her senses and she shot up immediately thinking that something was falling.

But there was nothing. Everything was exactly how she left it. Sighing once again, Caroline flopped on her back once more and was about to dismiss the sound as part of her imagination when she felt around for her bandana and found it missing. Thinking it fell on the floor and that was probably the source of the sound she banished the sound from her mind and immediately started drifting off to sleep again.

Caroline didn’t sleep long however. She felt one of the hairs on her head get ripped out from her scalp without warning. “Aie!” Caroline shrieked as she shot up clutching the affected area, “What was that? Who’s there?”

Caroline quickly got out of bed and looked around. Her heart racing as her paws carefully padded around the room in search of any trespassers that might be present. As she tried exiting her room while hugging the wall, however, her ankle was sliced open by an exposed nail in the door frame which forced another yelp from the confused woman. She hopped away from the painful carpentry tool and pulled her foot up to examine the wound. It was just a scratch apparently, but would be problematic if she hadn’t recently gotten her tetanus shot. Deducing that she was alone in the house due to the lack of any further noises Caroline bounced her way around on one foot over to her bags where she kept her first aid supplies and promptly treated her injury.

Sighing in relief now that she successfully applied a rather colourful bandage to her ankle Caroline got up and walked back over to the door frame to inspect the offending nail that caused her much anguish. Which she promptly found poking out the side of the door frame like it was just waiting for a victim. With a grumble she tried pushing it back in with her finger, which worked fairly easily, Caroline did note however that the surface of the nail was clean and dry from any traces of blood which she also dismissed once again as unimportant.

Grumbling once again at her very unfortunate day Caroline shambled back over to her bed remembering how tired she was and instantly fell back asleep, and lucky for her she was able to sleep peacefully as no more misfortunes befell her, preparing her well for the next day where she surely had much more work to do.

* * * *

The next morning went a whole lot smoother. Caroline finished much more cleaning than yesterday, probably because she no longer had any luggage to move around, and she wasn’t assailed by a series of unfortunate events like the previous night. She went shopping to stock up her lavish meal preparation room since they would be turning on her utilities that day and Caroline really wanted to try out the KoolKitty-89 model refrigerator. It was nigh legendary in terms of sturdiness and life expectancy. The later models weren't so great however; one instance had a KK model fridge fail in the middle of the night causing 600 pounds of bacon to rot… It was a sad time indeed.

Caroline ran her fingers through her exposed hair, she was unable to find her pink bandana that she usually put on to keep her hair out of the way since last night. It was almost as if the house had some little gremlin in it that kept playing pranks on her. She chuckled at the thought. It was downright impossible but it certainly was relevant to her interests… Shaking her head Caroline turned around and looked at the stove behind her. There was another fantasy she wanted to play out right now, and it was all too possible… After a quick cleaning that is, the kitchen hadn’t been washed in years.

After certain necessary cleaning procedures, including the purging of pipes from stagnant water, Caroline began her quest to prepare her very first meal in her new lodgings and she had the indestructible KK-89 fridge to aid her. Reaching inside she pulled out some bacon, butter, cream, and a shallot. She then retrieved some potatoes from the pantry and got to work peeling them hastily, fueled by nothing more than her need for some good breakfast.

Caroline then placed a pot on the stove which she filled with water and salt and put the potatoes to a boil. She heated up a cast iron skillet in the mean time and melted some butter upon it and was very generous with the amount as she fried some bacon in it, soon putting it to the side as she waited for the potatoes to finish boiling. Once everything was all well and cooked Caroline sloppily drained the potatoes out in the sink and haphazardly began to mash them into chunky pulp. She heard some sort of clawing above her but paid it no mind as she deposited the bacon into the semi mashed tubers along with all that butter.

“Mmm…” Caroline licked her lips as she watched that wonderful stream of saturated fat flow tantalizingly into those potatoes.

“Non.” A very unexpected squeaky voice snapped Caroline out of her butter daze, “Juste non. I will not allow you to desecrate ma remarquable cuisine with such abomination and reckless abandon!!”

“Wha?” Caroline looked to the source of the sound, coming somewhere from the ceiling. Whoever this person was he was clearly very french as he spoke with a very heavy accent indeed, “Who’s there?”

“Who, you ask, mademoiselle?” The other person replied with a prideful tone, “Voila, c'est moi, Jaques de Glasse! Foundator of the vin Glasse restaurant! Surely you must have heard of my work!”

“You? You founded that place?” Caroline sneakily crawled up on the kitchen counter so that she might easily reach the ceiling, “That’s impossible! He disappeared years ago!”

“Ah ah! I assure you, ma petite, he his still among you!” Jacques seemed to skitter away from where Caroline was reaching, “And get your filthy feet off my counter you… you… who ARE you anyway?”

“Me?” Caroline blushed a little as she sheepishly found herself climbing off the counter, scolding herself for the dirty paw prints on it, it seemed that in her excitement to get started she forgot to wash the floor, “I’m Caroline… and sorry about that little-man-who-lives-in-walls, I’ll clean it up!”

“Well then Caroline…” Jacques seemed to think for a moment, “You 'ave a nice name- However! Votre insolence knows no bounds! L'honorable Jacques de Glasse h'is no simple man who lives inside the walls! Non! The house is mine! ...You certainly came to your own conclusion quickly, oui?”

“Heeeee~” Caroline blushed even more as she scrubbed down the countertop. This place was getting better and better; all the things relevant to her interests were bundled up perfectly in one place. It was almost too perfect to be true.

“Bon alors, mademoiselle Caroline,” Jacques said in as deep of a voice as he could muster, though still adorably squeaky to his only audience, “what brings you to my most humble of abodes?”

“Well…” Caroline pivoted a little on her heels shyly, “I’m gonna be working in your restaurant… and…”

“Que?” Jacques questioned yet didn't seem all that surprised, “Hon hon hon…. an interesting development indeed mademoiselle…”

“Oh man, you have no idea how cool this is,” Caroline did little to hide her excitement, speaking a whole lot more casually than before, “I think it’s like a sign that I’m gonna make it in there.”

“Ha ha ha ha!” Jacques laughed in a stereotypical condescending french way, “Don’t make me laugh! I wouldn't feed that slop you made to a pig let alone a paying customer!” After which he seemed to snort or something, Caroline couldn’t really tell, “But since we are… how say? Roommates, now, I can impart to you some of my wisdom and experience.”

“Oh dude!” Caroline clenched her fists in excitement and held them near her chest, “This is going to be awesome! Does this mean you are going to come out now?”

“Hah! Do you take me for some sort of fool?” Jacques scoffed, “I’m not coming out to face some gargantuan beast such as your self!”

“Hey!” Caroline frowned, “Are you saying I’m fat?”

“Que?” Jacques was taken aback somewhat, “Non! I said no such thing!”

“Theeeen…,” Caroline tapped her chin slyly, “you’ll come out? Just let me see your face!”

“Non non non!” Jacques growled, “Even your logic eez even flawed! How many times were you dropped on your head as an enfant?”

“All right fine little dude… be that way!” Caroline huffed as she stomped upstairs, “I’ll just google you then.”

“Ah Ah Ah… you wish to gaze upon my magnifique appearance oui?” Jacques sounded slightly… seductive, “As you wish mademoiselle Caroline, allez, allez! I shall await your return.”

“Why that Jack…” Caroline grumbled as she strode into her room confidently and booted up her RaddaOS laptop, a machine about as reliable as a thief with your wallet. It had a whole bunch of flashy effects but it chugged like a drunken writer at happy hour and all the new patches did little to alleviate this problem. Still, it was free and totally not mainstream which was Caroline’s style after all. It could also handle the task of a simple web search without blowing a gasket.

“Come on… come on…” Caroline irritably twitched as the machine slowly started up, only allowing her to launch the Russo web browser after no small amount of waiting. She eagerly typed in “The Wine Glass” into the search bar which brought up its results after another few decades. She was then able to procure the correct spelling of his Jacques’ name as it was discreetly displayed in the website under founder, however there was no picture… Undeterred, Caroline copied the name and tried doing an image search… which also turned up absolutely nothing.

“Aw come on really?” Caroline grumbled, “He’s got no macebook or switter or anything? Totally lame.”

“So then young Caroline…,” a familiar french voice taunted her from the safety of her own walls, “did you find anything?”

“You…” Caroline grumbled without peeling herself away from the screen, “You just be quiet for a minute little dude, I’m still looking!”

“Well you could do that madamouselle…” Jacques seemed to ponder for a moment, “Or you could take a recipe from me to present at your first day. I assure you that you won't be getting any respect for le porcine slop you’re cooking now.”

“Really?” Caroline turned her head slowly after a short pause, “Like for real? You’re really gonna give me something?”

“Of course young Caroline,” Jacques chuckled a little, “what assists you will assist me in the end… lets just say is for our mutual benefit, oui?”

* * * *

Caroline sat nervously in a comfortably padded chair twiddling her thumbs uneasily as she waited for the verdict on the meal she prepared. The room she sat in was a rather lavish waiting area situated at the front of the restaurant where people would wait to be seated, it was not very spacious but it seated the six potential new employees comfortably without anyone rubbing any shoulders. Though the space of this particular area and was not what was concerning Caroline the most however, it was the decoration. One wall held a set of plaques honouring head chefs and management, from this one could learn that the manager was called Davey Turvan Ferris and the current lead chef was called Leonard Oxman, each name was accompanied by a wonderful picture of the said individual. There was a space for one by the name of Jacques De Glasse but his image appeared to have been torn away, leaving nothing but the white jacket used for cooking.

“Caroline, you’re up next.” A nudge from one of her competitors snapped her out of her frustrations, “Don’t wanna keep them waiting eh?”

“Oh, uh… yeah.” Caroline rose somewhat hurriedly and shuffled towards the kitchen, walking past aisles and aisles of neatly places and well garnished tables until she reached the kitchen, “Is it my turn next?” She asked, poking her head through the double swinging doors shyly, swallowing a lump in her throat.

“You are Caroline right?” someone barely visible from her vantage point replied, “Come on in.”

“Yes sir!” Caroline forced herself to enter the kitchen despite every muscle in her body stiffening up as if she died and got rigor mortis, “Was the food up to your standards at all?”

“Well yes and no…” The person sitting in the kitchen, revealed to be Mr. Oxman, replied; a bowl of half eaten risotto placed in front of him, “While yes, you got everything you needed to in there, but the rice is very much undercooked.”

“Oh… I see…” Caroline’s ears drooped, biting her lip uneasily before continuing, “Does this mean I failed?”

“Oh no no, not at all,” Mr. Oxman rose from his chair and adjusted his jacket. The eight foot tall grey wolf with two interestingly misplaced white stripes on his forehead smiled pleasantly, “You clearly got what it takes to be here, though you need a little practice first. I’m going to have you wait tables for a little while preparing some easy stuff here and there. Once I’m sure you got a good handle on things, I'll let you loose in the kitchen, all right?”

“Oh yes, that’ll be perfect Mr. Oxman sir!” Caroline grinned from ear to ear, resisting the urge to remain professional and not hop up and down like an excited baby kangaroo “When do I start?”

“Well just hang back a while and wait till I evaluate everyone else first,” Mr. Oxman chuckled a little, almost as if reading into her current repressed desires, “Then we’ll get you settled in alright?”

* * * *

The task which Caroline was given wasn’t too difficult, all she had to do was go to the customers, get their orders, take said orders to the kitchen, and return later with the food… So simple a baby could do it. It wasn’t long after all the others got accepted or rejected (with a noticeable degree of emotion in either case) that the front doors of the establishment opened. People were not lining up at the door but it wasn’t long before they got their first customer.

He was a very strange man wearing some sort of ninja/spiderman hybrid outfit that concealed his entire body with an antique looking typewriter tucked under one arm and a half empty bottle of beer in the other. He walked with ungraceful slow movements that made it obvious that he was intoxicated beyond recognition. He chose a seat and dropped down into it with a hiccup placing the typewriter in front of him on the table and immediately typing furiously upon it.

Raising an eyebrow, Caroline decided to ignore this strange person’s demeanour and approach him professionally, wouldn’t want to mess up on her first day with her very first task after all.

“Hello and welcome to the wine glass!” Caroline chirped holding a menu before this weird guy, “My name is Caroline and I will be helping you today!”

The man stopped typing and looked at the menu in Caroline’s hand for several moments without taking it, causing a bit of unease in the girl, before tilting his head back as far as it would go and letting out a long and very loud belch which seemed to sound like it contained a lot of moisture… It only got wetter and wetter the longer the burp went until it sounded like he was gurgling, the smell of half digested food a clear indicator was to what exactly this man had in his mouth.

“OH…” Caroline dropped the menu on the floor and stepped back, “MY GOD. OH MY GOD.”

Caroline bolted back to the kitchen without looking back, bursting through the doors with one hand over her mouth, and feeling like she was about to lose her own breakfast.

“Thirty one seconds… not bad…” Mr. Oxman’s sounded from behind Caroline, snapping her attention to the back wall where she found him leaning against a wall with a stopwatch in hand, “You lasted longer than most.”

“Who was that guy?” Caroline stood up straight, wiping the cold sweat off her brow, “What does he want?”

“Oh don’t worry about him, he comes in everyday,” Mr. Oxman put his stopwatch away, “Always orders the beer battered fish and a bottle of wine.”

“O-oh…” Caroline found herself calming down a little, “Has he ever… you know… puked on the floor?”

“No no no…” Mr. Oxman chuckled, “He’s more of a gentleman than that, we’re getting his order ready so be prepared to go back out there ok?”

“Aw ffff-” Caroline huffed, “fine fine… this is turning out to be an interesting first day huh?”

“We try to keep things interesting…” Mr. Oxman grinned as he pushed himself off the wall and headed deeper into the kitchen.



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Now Ill only take complaints (or utter silence) but nothing in between >:I

so say something bad or hush >:I
RIP Baggy52.

Mutual Benefit - In Progress... 21/40 -> 52%
Cause for alarm - In Progress... 5/10->50% >|+|< No Cause for alarm - COMPLETE
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Re: Mutual Benefit

Postby Kusanagi » Sat Feb 15, 2014 6:07 pm

Cameos are of the devil :I

But I am interested to see where you're going with this.

...fish is nasty by the way.
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Re: Mutual Benefit

Postby Hetzer » Sun Feb 16, 2014 3:04 am

Okay... complaints. Right, let's do this.

I hate how you have kept Jacques hidden. Come on, what are you trying to do here, build suspense? Curiosity?! What's wrong with just going out and spoiling everything, huh?! And those cameos, are you TRYING to make me laugh? I came here to read, not to enjoy myself! And how could you create a world where 600 pounds of bacon goes bad? Are you some kind of monster? For shame, sir.

But despite all of these TERRIBLE flaws, I begrudgingly must admit it has some potential.

It was great Gadabout, the KK and Kusa cameos were hilarious and the banter between Caroline and Jacques was excellent.
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Re: Mutual Benefit

Postby Duct Tape Fanatic » Sun Feb 16, 2014 4:49 am

I'm sensing some Ratatoiulle-influence here.
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Re: Mutual Benefit

Postby RaddaRaem » Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:50 pm

So so many cameos, all of mine associated with crummy computers and web browsers. XD Looking forward to seeing how Caroline handles herself while dealing with none other than someone who most certainly is not Kusanagi.
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Re: Mutual Benefit

Postby TendoTwo » Mon Feb 17, 2014 9:36 am

gadabout wrote:KoolKitty-89 model refrigerator

RaddaOS laptop

Russo web browser

He was a very strange man wearing some sort of ninja/spiderman hybrid outfit that concealed his entire body with an antique looking typewriter tucked under one arm and a half empty bottle of beer in the other.


I'm not sure whether to laugh or facepalm...

P.S. Ninja/Spiderman hybrid? Have you never heard of Deadpool? :P
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Re: Mutual Benefit

Postby Westpilot » Mon Feb 17, 2014 11:21 pm

Cameo's and cooking and frenchmen, oh my!

Alors, my only complaint is that Jacques ees not FRENCH enough. Montreal speets on you!
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Re: Mutual Benefit

Postby Kusanagi » Tue Feb 18, 2014 12:39 am

TendoTwo wrote:
gadabout wrote:KoolKitty-89 model refrigerator

RaddaOS laptop

Russo web browser

He was a very strange man wearing some sort of ninja/spiderman hybrid outfit that concealed his entire body with an antique looking typewriter tucked under one arm and a half empty bottle of beer in the other.


I'm not sure whether to laugh or facepalm...

P.S. Ninja/Spiderman hybrid? Have you never heard of Deadpool? :P


Common mistake http://i.imgur.com/CcgFOxC.jpg
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Re: Mutual Benefit

Postby kool kitty89 » Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:54 am

Heh, Hetzer might be annoyed, but I'm totally glad I read this on a whim rather than sticking to my reading list. :P

Cameos, cameos, cameos, and then BACON!

Though I've got a feeling I actually missed some of the references in there, I know I got more than if I hadn't gotten into the bf IRC. ;3

That bacon issue is because of that refrigerated bacon truck incident, isn't it?


That, and half-way through this, I realized this story (and a LOT of your stories, really) are decidedly reminiscent of the ones my mom used to come up with ... or, more often, the ones she's get me to collaborate with for intriguing yet sporadically absurd adventures. ;3
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Re: Mutual Benefit

Postby arbon » Thu Feb 20, 2014 1:08 pm

The cameos ... oh squeakin hell those cameos. I see koolkitty has made an impression on you.
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