Planet Mallorn

A place for writers to offer creative feedback and post works in progress.

Postby deatheater » Thu Mar 31, 2011 11:59 pm

Well... I finally finished the last chapter of my story. It's been a long journey but it's finally over. It's funny looking back at my previous chapters, and seeing how bad the grammar and spelling was, compared to my latest chapters. :lol:

Well without further ado... Here is the last chapter to Planet Mallorn.




Chapter 18:




The Beginning in the End




I rubbed the sleeve of my shirt against my eyes to wipe away the tears after a few minutes of relief; relief that it was all over. Jim Littlefield was finally dead, and our small force of troops had finally won against a ruthful nation.

Just remaining in silence, I could hear the nuclear engine core slowly powering down around me with the deepening tone of its constant humming. Soon the droning sound stopped as the core shut down and all the bulbs on my control panel shut off, except for a few vampire lights that were always lit.

It was slow, but I managed to get up out of my seat, and gradually make my way to the exit. I finally reached the metal, pressure-sealed door, and after punching in the unlock code, there was an audible hiss as the hatch opened up.

When I finally stepped outside, I saw Tim standing there with tears running down his muzzle. He must have been feeling the same thing that I was feeling, but for him, it meant so much more. He had finally been able to avenge the deaths of his beloved brother and sister.

Tim took a few steps towards me, and my head slowly rose up as he knelt down in front of me. With extreme care, the giant wolf slowly reached down and picked me up in a delicate, loose fist. He just held me close to his chest for comfort since, aside from his parents, I was the only thing that he had left.

"Are you ok?" I asked as I looked up at Tim.

He just looked down at me and slowly nodded his head in reply. I could see other wolves watching us, but I didn"™t care. There was no way that they could be feeling what my friend was feeling, and I was just glad that I could be there to help him.

"Attention... Attention... Will everyone report to the mess-hall immediately," A voice rang out over the P.A. system inside the hanger.

We both heard the announcement and just looked at each other for a few more seconds before Tim started to move in the direction of the dinning room.

"Are you sure you"™re ok Tim?" I asked as I was carried out of the hanger.

"Yeah, I"™m fine," Tim replied as he looked down at me. "I"™m just so happy that the monster who killed my brother and sister is dead. I just... I just don"™t really know what to say," He continued.

"I know," I replied. "You must be extremely happy that Jim is gone, and I just want you to know that I"™m here for you, ok... I may be small, but I"™m here," I explained as looked up at the giant wolf; my arms hanging over his pointer finger as I was carried in his loose fist.

It didn"™t take long, and Tim was able to make his way across the grass, and into the green wooden building that had the words, "Mess-hall," Written across the top of the doorframe. Once we stepped inside, we were greeted by an uproar of excitement and joy by all the other soldiers.

Tim was ushered to the front of the room, with me in his paw, along with two other wolf pilots that had managed to survive the attack. Everyone was howling and hollering as we stood at the front and looked back at them. The other soldiers were so excited that we had won, that it was like they had forgotten about ones that died in order to give them this moment.

When I looked around, I noticed that the only wolf not joining in the ruckus was the Commander. Commander Strom was never the hollering type, but something about his expression just seemed like he was disappointed.

After a few more minutes of pandemonium, the Commander finally took charge and calmed everyone down, by raising his hands over his head.

"HEY!" Strom shouted as he grabbed everyone"™s attention. "So... Are you all happy that we"™ve won?" He asked; his voice still louder than normal.

All of the wolves started to nod their heads in agreement as huge smiles planted themselves across their muzzles.

"Don"™t be!" Strom shouted again as all of the expressions on the wolves changed from excitement to confusion. "Tell me... How many pilots do you see standing up here?" He asked as he glared at everyone.

"Four," Some soldier answered back as everyone looked at him in shock, before the wolf realized his mistake.

The Commander just glared at the wolf until he saw the soldiers ears fall flat against his head in shame.

"That"™s right... four... Out of thirty," Strom started to explain as he looked at everyone. "That was some victory wasn"™t it?" He asked as he looked at everyone.

All of the other soldiers simply lowered their heads in shame as the reality of their lost comrades really started to set in.

"And do you think it"™s over?" Strom asked as he continued to glare at everyone.

No one said a word as they looked back at their Commander, they couldn"™t understand what he was talking about. They had killed General Littlefield, and brought down the huge flying airship called "The Kursk."

"What could possibly be left," They wondered.

"All you have managed to do was awaken a giant nation. Sure, you killed General Littlefield, but he was just one of six General"™s and a Commander," Strom explained as he looked at everyone. "And what do you think is going to happen when they all come after us?" Strom asked.

He was only greeted with blank faces and expressionless stares.

"Do you think that the little human can still help us then? His ship is out of ammo, and his plane has been destroyed," Storm added as he looked at me, and then back to the wolves.

When Strom put it like that, he really made me feel insignificant during that moment. Tim must have felt my discomfort, because he held me just a little bit closer. I just looked up at him and smiled as he smiled back.

"Now"™s not a time to celebrate, but a time to prepare and get ready for the inevitable attack that"™s coming our way. So get ready," Strom concluded as he looked at everyone once more. After finishing with his little speech, he dismissed everyone and then left to go back to his office and prepare.

No one said anything as the wolves filtered out of the dinning room to head back to their resting quarters. They just hung their heads low in disappointment and fear from what was going to happen. No one wanted to go to war, but they knew that it was going to happen, especially since they probably just pissed off the Kantorians.

"What do you thinks going to happen?" Tim asked me as he walked out of the mess-hall.

"I don"™t know," I answered back. "My ship is out of ammunition, and until they build me another plane that I can fly, I"™m kind of worthless," I added in remorse as I hung my head low.

"Don"™t worry, I"™m sure we"™ll figure something out," Tim replied back as he made his way to our living area.

Once we were inside the sleeping area, no one really said anything as they slowly sat down on their bunks, before laying back to rest. Tim did the same, before he gently set me down on top of his chest.

I just sat down on the soft fabric beneath me, and looked at Tim"™s face. He had his hands behind his head to prop it up slightly so that he could see me. The sun had also set, so it was getting darker and darker outside. Soon someone turned on the lights once we started to have difficulty seeing each other.

Tim and I just talked for the next hour as we started to fall asleep. It was already late by the time the sun went down, so once we were finished talking, many of the wolves were already fast asleep. Tim gently picked me up and took off his shirt to get ready to call it a night. Yawning, Tim laid back down and set me on top of his chest once more. He then set his hand on top of me, as we both drifted off to sleep.

As I started to shut my eyes, the only thing I could think about was, "What"™s going to happen next?" I had already tried to set up something back on Earth, but weather or not it would work, was a topic that was completely up for debate. I just prayed that my plan would be put into action as I finally fell asleep.

The next morning, a familiar sound woke me up, along with all of the other wolves. The sun was just coming up over the horizon, as slivers of light began to pierce through the windows of our dorm.

As I listened to the sound, that was slowly getting louder, I tried to figure out what it was. It wasn"™t the engines of the wolf"™s planes, but sounded like low-pitched, powerful roaring, and humming. I also noticed that Tim was up, and could see his huge ears swivel as they picked up on the sound as well. Suddenly my eyes shot open as I quickly sat up. I knew what it was.

"Tim... Tim get up, quick!" I shouted as he looked down at me.

Not wasting a moment, Tim gently picked me up and then got out of bed. He quickly put on a shirt, and made his way to the exit of our resting quarters. As he walked past the other wolves, I noticed that they too were getting out of their bunks, and getting dressed to follow us.

Once we made it to the door and looked outside, my heart jumped for joy at what I saw.

Landing on the runway, were about a hundred small ships; human ships that looked like mine. Some were very large, and some were small and sleek, more like fighter ships instead of a transport craft such as mine own.

"Tim! It worked... My message... It worked!" I shouted as I looked up at him. I noticed that he was just staring at the numerous small aircraft that were landing on the runway. Then he looked down at me in shock as his ears perked up.

"Are those~~" Tim started to say before I cut in.

"Yes! Yes Tim, those are humans! Like me!" I shouted back again. I was just too excited to control myself. "Go over there Tim! I have to meet them!" I continued to shout as I looked from Tim to the ships that were parking along the side of the runway.

Tim slowly started to move in the direction that Ken was waving his arms. He didn"™t even know what to do as he looked at all the various sized spaceships. As he got closer he could see countless humans staring to get out of their aircraft and line up on the side of the runway.

Once we were close enough, Tim set me down so that I could go over, and greet my fellow humans. As I walked over to the lead human Commander, I looked back and noticed that dozens of wolves were staring at the amazing spectacle on the runway. I was glad that they weren"™t getting to close, and staying behind Tim since I didn"™t want them to scare any of my comrades.

"Commander Katen. You have no idea how glad I am to see you," I exclaimed as I greeted the Commander while I walked over to him. Katen was a large man. He stood just over six-and-a-half feet, and just held a commanding presence with his posture. He was dressed in a stark white uniform, and was decorated with many medals and ribbons that covered the front of his vest. "We've just awoken a giant, terrible nation, and could use all the help we can get," I explained as I shook his hand.

Even though the Commander was listening to me, his attention however, was focused on the gigantic wolves behind me. As I looked around, I noticed that all the humans were looking at the wolves with mixed emotions. Some were shaking in fear, others were staring at them in awe, and the rest were looking at me on what to do.


"Commander, you do not need to be afraid of these wolves... They all speak our language, they're friendlies," I explained as I turned around and motioned for Tim to come over to me. Once he started to move, I noticed that a few of the humans were shuffling backwards from having a giant carnivore approach them. "These wolves are willing to show us hospitality and let us stay, so long as we help them," I added as Tim knelt down behind me.

Smiling, I turned around and looked up at Tim, who was looking around at all the other humans; his ears moving around as they picked up even the slightest sound or movement.

"Tim," I said as he looked down at me. I then motioned for him to lower his hand, which he did, and then I stepped into it. After I was standing in his palm, I motioned for Commander Katen to step on with me. He hesitated a few seconds, but then grabbed my hand for support as I helped him up.

Everyone else, wolf and human, was watching to see what was going to happen next. Tim slightly cupped his fingers to offer some protection, and then slowly stood up. I chuckled to myself as I watched the heads of the other humans, slowly rise higher and higher, until Tim was fully erect.

Commander Strom was also in the crowd, and was standing behind Tim, taking up his role as an authority figure. Tim slowly turned around to look at Strom, and then I introduced the two Commanders.

"Commander Katen," I said as I looked at my Commander. "This is Commander Strom, leader of the Mandorian Army," I explained as I looked from my Commander to the giant wolf. "Commander Strom, this is Commander Katen, leader of these fine troops, and the Eastern Union back on Earth," I continued as I looked from the giant wolf to my Commander.

Both Commanders nodded towards one another, as they noted each other"™s position. Strom then raised his hand to Tim"™s and motioned for Katen to step onto it. Katen was still a little hesitant, but after a few seconds, he walked from one giant paw to the other.

Still maintaining his decor, Commander Katen stood at attention after stopping in Strom"™s hand.

"Greetings Commander Strom. My name is Ronald Katen, and I"™m the Commander of these fine troops you see before you. It"™s an honor to be on your planet, and we are happy to help fight along your side," Katen explained as he introduced himself to the giant wolf that held him. "Now, what is the current situation at hand?" Katen asked.

"Let"™s talk in private Commander Katen, and I"™ll explain everything to you," Strom replied as he looked down at the little human in his hand.

"Of course," Katen replied as he nodded his head in agreement.

After nodding back to the human Commander, Strom focused his attention on the rest of his troops. "The rest of you, pair up with a human that"™s willing, and he or she will be your responsibility," He added before cupping his hand slightly, and walking away to discuss their situation with Katen.

I knew that some of the humans were scared to be around these giants, but there was plenty of others that wanted to be with a wolf of their own, and gladly stepped forward from the crowd to pair up with one of the giant beings.

The wolves slowly, cautiously stepped forward, so as to not frighten the humans, and once they were close enough they bent down and lowered their hands to the ground. The humans were of course nervous and reluctant, unsure of weather giant anthropomorphic wolves from an unfamiliar planet were entirely trustworthy. Eventually they stepped forward, picking which wolf that they wanted to be with. Some wolves had glanced at specific humans on more than one occasion, subconsciously beginning the process of selection. Once humans chose a wolf and stepped into their giant awaiting palms, the wolves stood back up and everyone started to introduce themselves to each other.

Luckily, there were enough humans that wanted to be paired with a wolf as there were wolves in general, so no one was left out. The other humans that didn"™t want to be with one of the giant, terrifying alien creatures, already had plans to construct their own base that would be on the other side of the runway, and totally separate. They would need the help of the wolves to construct their base, but with the giant beings helping them, they would be able to build their base in no time.

I could only watch in awe at the spectacle unfolding in front of me. Our planets were intertwining to fight for a greater cause, and helping each other in a way that was indescribable. Who knows what our planets could share from one another once this war was over? Humans one day, might even be able to colonize on Planet Mallorn, and allow our people and the giant wolves to live amongst each other in peaceful harmony.

All I could feel was overwhelming joy. We finally had the means to win this war between the neighboring countries of Mandora and Kantora. I was also now able to re-supply my ship using the cargo and supplies that were brought on one of the cargo ships, and the firepower that we now possessed was simply outstanding. We finally had a way to win.
_______________________

"Commander Yivan!" General Pars, a grey wolf, started as he looked at his Commander, a black wolf wearing a decorated black uniform with gold trim.

General Pars was sitting at a steel table along with his Commander, and four other Generals: Tonks, Ravin, Esra, and Daron. They were in an underground concrete bunker with no windows and only one entrance.

"General Littlefield is dead, and the Mandorians took down The Kursk, by means that we don"™t know of yet," Pars explained as he looked at his Commander.

"It was only a matter of time, General Pars," Yivan replied as he looked at the grey wolf. "Littlefield was a weak General, who was entirely to soft when it came to war... I"™m glad to be rid of that thorn in my side," Yivan added as he looked around that table at his top military Generals.

Yivan knew that his men had what it took to win a war, and he was pleased with the, sometimes unethical, treatment that they used to get what they needed in situations like this.

"What do you want us to do Commander?" Ravin, a white wolf, asked as she leaned in a bit to further emphasis her question as she looked at Yivan.

"I want you to go in and kill all of the Mandorians before we take their nation," Yivan answered as he tapped his finger on the map in front of him.

"Everyone," Ravin replied as she looked at Yivan with a pleasing grin.

"Everyone!" Yivan forced as he looked around the table.

All of the Generals started to snicker at each other as their Commander gave them free range to kill anyone that they wanted. They would have fun with this war, and would bring as much pain as they could to the useless nation that was in their way. Mandora would be wiped off the map once they were finished, which satisfied them all immensely.

"Commander," Daron, a brown wolf, spoke up as he looked up at Yivan. "When can we start our attack on Mandora?" He asked as everyone else looked at Yivan for the answer.

"Tomorrow," Yivan replied as he looked at his General"™s with a sadistic grin.




~ ~ ~ THE END ~ ~ ~
I can access your mind though your dreams.
One simple idea can change everything.
Which is why, I have to steal it.

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Postby deatheater » Fri Apr 01, 2011 12:44 am

Thanks KidoftheJ...

Oh, and before I forget to give credit where credit is due... Thanks to KidoftheJ for editing this chapter for me, to help catch all those unwanted errors. 8)
I can access your mind though your dreams.
One simple idea can change everything.
Which is why, I have to steal it.

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Re:

Postby Canzet » Sat May 20, 2017 4:11 pm

deatheater wrote:When I finally stepped outside, I saw Tim standing there with tears running down his muzzle. He must have been feeling the same thing that I was feeling, but for him, it meant so much more. He had finally been able to avenge the deaths of his beloved brother and sister.


I have some questions about that scene from your story:

1. When Tim cried, did his tears specifically run down:
A: The bridge of his muzzle and off the tip of his nose as he hung his head
or
B: The side of his muzzle diagonally and off his lower jaw and chin

2. Exactly how would Tim react and what would he say to me if I hugged him, rubbed his back and licked those tears running down his muzzle with my tongue during the scene where he cried? Because every time I read that, I fantasize licking every last tear from Tim's muzzle.

3. Dumb question but on a scale from 1 to 10 with 10 being the saltiest, how salty would Tim's tears taste on my tongue if I licked them directly from his muzzle?

4. On a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being freezing cold and 10 being scalding hot, how warm were those tears running down Tim's muzzle?

I know these questions sound weird but please please PLEASE reply back!
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